


D N R

by creepyponylover



Category: Original Work
Genre: Assisted Suicide, Character Death, Death, Gen, Hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 05:17:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19761367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepyponylover/pseuds/creepyponylover
Summary: I’m 18 years old.————Because I’m still working on tags, (not sure how for something like this) this story does contain what some may consider assisted suicide. It does take place in a hospital or hospice care unit.





	D N R

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary, this story does contain what some may see as assisted suicide. Please understand a DNR is completely legal, and that this story is written as a way to try to expand my own horizons.  
> This is the first thing I’ve written since a rather hard fall from a friendship, the person I had been co-writing my other fic with, nonetheless I’m still somewhat proud of this one and hope it at least somewhat pulls at the emotions I am aiming at.

I am 18 years old.

To my left my mother lays, exhausted and overworked. To my right, a nightstand filled with flowers and get well cards. I wish I had told them not to waste their money, I wish my parents hadn’t spent as much on me as they have. Thousands of dollars, thousands of hours, and yet here I am, staring at the ceiling with fluorescent lights.

White is all I see, I’m sure at this point, sensory deprivation has set in. I haven’t even graduated yet.

I can’t remember what’s wrong with me, the name is too long, but it’s spread to my heart.

I squeeze my mother’s hand, dad and her got divorced after he left due to the stress. I don’t blame him. I wish I could walk away.

I watch hours tick by, mom has to go to work, I give her a kiss and tell her goodbye. She says she’ll see me soon.

I wish she knew. I wish she wouldn’t regret leaving.

2 pm and I’m struggling to breath, my monitor beeps harder and harder, they called my mom an hour ago, she’s trying but there was an accident.

All I can do is panic and sob, it hurts, it hurts so much.

I cough and sputter, stomach turning with guilt as person after person passes me, people I have come to know over the last few months, years even.

A brunette sits by my side, Todd, I always called him Sweeney as a joke, I love the theater. He squeezes my hand and speaks softly, it’s comforting.

“It’s okay, I’m right here.”

I feel him brush my cheek, and my monitor stabilizes, my breath calms and the pain begins to subside. He sends me a sad smile, he knows what’s happening, he knows what I want.

My mother comes in moments later, and rushes to my side, it hurts to speak but she holds me, brushing my hair and whispering apologizes.

As soon as I can I utter the letters.

“DNR”

My mother stares for a moment, tears dripping down her face, and she nods. She leaves, when she comes back, maybe ten minutes later, my little twin siblings in tow, my heart breaks.

They’re just ten.

“I talked to them, they’ll be in soon with the papers.”

I nod and hold my arms out, my sister is the first to rush forward, her Disney princess sneakers lighting up as she cries and hugs me, her head buried in the crook of my neck.

My brother, bless his poor timid soul, waits for moments. With a sudden burst of energy he launches himself into my other open arm. I love them so much.

They’re too young to have their life messed like this.

My mother makes her way over timidly, leaning down and hugging us all, it’s quiet, save for the sniffles from all, until papers are heard shuffling.

“Here, just sign here-“

“And here-“

“And here.”

I was thankful it was so simple, I had tossed the idea out before, the pain was too much.

Mom got the next week off work, it was the middle of summer break for my siblings, they’d have nearly two months to grieve.

10 pm, I seize.

12 am, my heart beat becomes erratic.

3 am, my lungs begin to fail.

5 am, surrounded by my family and the friends I’ve made, I flatline.

I was 18 years old.

They followed it.

DNR

Do Not Resuscitate.


End file.
